By Beki Froud

For many years, baby loss was hidden in silence—yet countless families walk this painful path every day. When our daughter Jemimah was born sleeping at full term, we found ourselves plunged into unimaginable grief. But we were not alone. Through the shock, sorrow and questions, we discovered the nearness of God and the sustaining love of those around us.

Over the last few years I’ve written a book to share our journey through devastation, faith, and the long road of grief that leads to healing. I’ve reflected honestly on the shared experiences of many who face miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth or neonatal death. Each chapter is accompanied by biblical reflections that speak hope into suffering and point to the God who comforts the brokenhearted.

Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;

He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Click here to buy book.

At our recent launch event, Janet Johnston interviewed my husband Steve and I, asking us questions to draw out some of our baby loss story, how the book came about and also our hopes for the book:

Q - With the theme of the book being around baby loss - can you tell us a little of your story?

Thirteen years ago we were expecting our third child, Jemimah, but sadly at the end of the pregnancy she stopped moving and after going to the hospital for several scans, we found out she had died. Immediately we were surrounded by family and friends from Church. We cried and we prayed that God would bring her back to life, however two days later she was born sleeping.

Since then we’ve navigated grieving, walking through a valley we never expected, which we’ve done both together and in our own different ways. We also had to support our boys, Daniel and James who were 6 and 4 at the time, through the grief of losing the little sister they thought they were going to have.

In the shock, in our questions, in our pain and in our lamenting, the greatest thing we’ve known is God with us every step of the way. He drew so close to us and held us more than we ever thought possible.

He also guided us through the prospect of having another child and two years later we went on to have another beautiful daughter - Abigail.

Q - How did the book come about?

Through a couple of prophetic nudges I felt God asking me to write Jemimah’s story down. The first was whilst talking about baby loss to my brother-in-law and he said, ‘It sounds like a book!’ Shortly after that someone gave me a prophetic word about holding a pen.

One of the reasons we named her Jemimah is because Jemimah in the bible shared a full lot and inheritance with her brothers (Job 42:14). Although our Jemimah only lived in the womb, we feel she is our full daughter, so another reason to write the book was to make sure that her story is recorded and fully told!

After encouragement to get started from some close friends and the lend of a house for a few days, it all spiralled from there. In a weekend I mapped out the whole story and wrote the first four chapters! I then committed to writing every Friday morning, even though I hate writing and it was often something I had to make myself do. It took about a year to get the whole narrative written down of the four year journey we’d been through, from wanting a third child to eventually having Abigail.

Then the next faith step was to send it off to a few christian publishers.

To cut a long story short, Waverley agreed to publish it with a bit of a re-structure, but after being put on pause for a while, my book was published by Equipping the Church (Kingsway).

Q - What are your hopes for the book?

I really hope the book will provide a lifeline for others walking this path, to eventually find healing. Rick Warren says, "You can't go around grief, or under it, or over it. You must go THROUGH it". We believe healing happens over time with God’s help, that has been our story and our hope is for others to find that too.

Historically, there was often a silence around baby loss and it was even a bit of a taboo subject. But, I’m hoping this book will help it be talked about more. Baby loss can be so hidden, for lots of ladies miscarriage happens before they’ve even told many people they were pregnant. Our journey was the opposite. It was extremely public, as it happened at full term. So we had to talk about it. But I found the talking helpful and therapeutic, in processing the journey, emotions and grief.

As I prayed about the book launch, I heard the phrase, ‘Invest in someone else's healing’ and I want to encourage people to buy a book and read it in order to be ready to support a friend or loved one who experiences this tragedy. Sadly baby loss is far too common and currently affects 1 in every 4 pregnancies in the UK. That’s a lot of women affected, but not just the ladies, it also affects their partners and their families around them. That’s one of the reasons Steve wrote a chapter from the husband's perspective.

We’d also love to see pastoral teams in Churches equipped to help people, so it would be great if pastoral people could read it and be ready to help those who may sadly walk this path.

We’re hoping many more of us will be equipped to help others grieve, to sit alongside them, to listen, to love, not to have all the answers or necessarily be able to fix it but to ‘mourn with those who mourn’ (Rom 15:12) and pray that they’ll know the deep love and care of their heavenly father, ‘the God of all comfort’ (2 Cor 1:3).

Beki and her husband Steve are members of King’s Community Church, Southampton, where Beki is also a Senior Leader.